Yes, I Can Be Picky.

I get to be picky.  And judge-y.  I am at a point in my life where I do not feel the need to settle for less than I deserve.  I don’t say that to mean that I am somehow “better than” my peers.  What I am, however, is not about that “settling” life.

I met a nice guy a few months ago.  He was nice.  Not at all attractive, short, not very fit….but he was nice.  I figured he might make an okay friend.  I was somewhat more inclined to talk with him (get to know him), until I found out he has no college degree.  To find out that little tidbit, I actually had to ask….he didn’t offer that information.  He talked about attending college…but didn’t mention he hadn’t finished.  Strike one.  Now, don’t get it twisted, I know there are millions of people in the world today who don’t have college degrees and who are fabulous people…..  For myself, as I go about life in the dating world, a person with a college degree is definitely more desirable…

In speaking to this dude on a few occasions, I got the feeling that he is used to not needing to put much effort into his dealings with women.  I told him from the beginning that I don’t deal in BS.  I’m not the one to keep calling a guy in an effort get to know them, when they are not putting in the same (more) effort to see me.  So after a  phone conversation or two, the guy didn’t call for several days. Strike two.   I call him and we arrange a lunch meeting….he doesn’t show up.  Strike three.  He’s out.

Fast forward to a recent weekend.  We meet for lunch (I’m a nice person…and…free lunch…).  He tries to hug all up on me.  Nope.  He is a messy eater.  Nope.  We walked for a while and he offered to drive me back to my car.  His car was so beat up on the inside…the passenger lock had to be unlocked by reaching through the back door.  Nope.  The seats were dirty and torn.  Nope.  I couldn’t roll down my window because it wasn’t working.  Nope.  The car smelled.  Nope.  And to top it all off, when he pulled over to the curb so I could get out and head to my car, he leaned over like I was going to kiss him.  Oh Heck No!  The minute he pulled over I was getting out the car…I did thank him for lunch…. (remember, I’m a nice person).

He has been calling me and texting me since that day….  I’m not interested.  I will break it to him gently….  Wait, no I won’t.  I will just tell him that we can be friends…. Or, I may just not respond to his texts and phone calls.

I settled once before.  I am NOT about to do that ish again.

I read an article a few weeks ago.  The article spoke of women who settle, who sometimes find their lives changed for the better, but more often find their lives drastically changed for the worse.  As women, we are brought up to cater to men, to be good listeners, to hold up our men, not hurt their feelings, not drag them down.  I would never intentionally hurt another, but as a woman of faith, and one who knows my boundaries, I now refuse to accept less than what I deserve.

So, the next time a person is “nice” I may just keep it pushing.  I don’t owe anyone my number just because they ask. I’ve been single for a while, and I am okay with that.  Yes, I want companionship and I eventually want to get married again, however I’m not so hard up that I will date anyone who asks.  I’m not about that life.

If companionship means dealing with idiots like the one I went out with a few weeks ago…then I’m fine with being single until I meet the right one.